Just

Just

I struggled as a parent, feeling small and insignificant, and engaging in what Buddhism calls “the comparing mind.” It took me years to realize wishing for a different outcome doesn’t make it so.

This relates to the essay “Holland” by Emily Perl Kingsley. If you were thinking that, like the majority of parents, you were going to “Italy,” but suddenly find yourself in “Holland,” you feel trapped and powerless. It is a helpless feeling of lack of choice. After a while, you realize that some things about parenting with special needs are overwhelming, and others are nearly the same as the experiences of all parents.

I finally realized two things: being a parent isn’t a race, and as long as my child gets to a certain goal, how long it takes him is less important than actually getting there. 

Also, I could not keep listening to the story being repeated in my head that I was less and my son was less just because of his autism diagnosis. 

I was determined to shed the heavy mantle I had placed on myself: that I was “just” a mom. 

No, you are not “just” a parent, “just” doing the best you can, “just” unable to do one more thing before giving in to exhaustion. You are not “just” doing whatever on a whim, not “just” someone without a place or role. 

You matter greatly as caregiver of your loved one with ASD.

You deserve rest and respite. You deserve respect, especially from yourself.

I invite you to respond if you would like to schedule a strategy call. We can discuss your goals together. I could JOYn you on your path to ease in parenting.

Please respond. I would love to hear your thoughts.